Yeah, I’ve shared a few things of hers before. Much of what she writes about is how she lives post-anorexia, but she also gets into faith and faith-life. Much of her stuff is about body-positivity and being grounded in Christ to help sort out your mind.
And, if I’m honest, I like reversing her blog titles in my head. They make for entertaining non-reading, or just a good writing prompt.
So, what about this one? “Order in the Chaos.” My mind went to “Chaos in the Order.”
Then my mind held onto that for a bit.
As humans, we thrive on a mixture of unpredictability and predictability. We love to come home and find the spouse has surprised us with not only a delicious dinner but also a decadent dessert and good news about their job.
Home, spouse, job. Predictable.
Unexpected dinner and dessert. Good new(s). Unpredictable and welcome.
Or I like walking into work and discovering that, despite how I fixed it last afternoon, the wall is on the verge of tipping over again.
New problem to solve. Unpredictable, maybe unwelcome.
That’s generally how we humans think of life. It’s how we were taught to think of it. Life looks like chaos at times, but there is an element of regularity in it all. There is a core from which deviations come.
And now comes the trick: we’ve been misled.
Like a noise that we have gotten used to, we are accustomed to thinking of how much we get paid, whether we’re going to make it or not. We forget, even us Christians, to “Seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness.” In what we think of as ‘order,’ there is much of chaos in that it isn’t right!
The ‘Hook-up, Shack-up, Break-up’ culture so many take for granted? It looks like order to them, but it is chaos.
The whole rat race of getting the most cheese out of life? It looks like order, but it is such chaos.
Or even in the moments when people can be still, how many are? How many walk into their phones with narry a glance at the world they leave behind? How many many will blast music rather than sit in the stillness? Why have we made solitude and silence into enemies?
We have crafted chaos out of order, and now in what we think of as order… there is chaos. We put together the skin and hair of the living being, and put clothes and makeup on it, to try and make something look normal and orderly, and we have to continually prop it up because it has no structure inside that can sustain it.
It’s the sleepless nights.
It’s the increased anxiety attacks.
It’s the search-and-find for what is wrong with our lives that we try to satisfy with answers like, “It’s politicians. It’s climate change. It’s my spouse. It’s my job. It’s my hobbies. It’s my car. It’s the place where I live. It’s my church. It’s my fault.”
Here’s another corner of the tapestry pulled back to reveal the underneath: We aren’t fooling ourselves that well.
We know that something isn’t right. It’s that God-shaped hole in our hearts that nothing fits and we wish God wasn’t there to fit it because His fullness is terrifying (in good and bad ways). We know that all our efforts to prop up our lives are just hiding the chaos underneath.
Everyone knows this, to some degree or another. We have hidden chaos in order.
To quote our favorite Pooh, “What to do? What to do?”
Well, for starters, read this gal’s post.
And remember that God has spoken to these bones in us, made us solid again, given us stability and life. Satan tries to spin us into chaos again, but God holds us on the Solid Rock. From that Rock, we reach out to pull others to safety, to the Order within the Chaos.
Some prefer the chaos. Many pretend to prefer it. Speak the Word to them, and let God do the work of breathing life into their bones.